Author: Team Palsy

  • Before Beyonce

    Before Beyonce

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    by

    Team Palsy
    in ,

    Before there was Beyonce, there was Tiger, Cherri, Sandy, and Lucy. Tiger, the cat pranced into our lives when I was seven. Her name was less than original but absolutely fitting. She looked like a tiny Tony the Tiger down to her big blue eyes. I do not know why my father brought home a…

  • My Origin Story

    My Origin Story

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    by

    Team Palsy
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    I often meet parents of kids with Cerebral Palsy who are afraid to let their children try to walk. When I ask them why they won’t just let their kid give walking a shot, the overwhelming response is that they are afraid their child will fall. No human being has ever learned to walk without…

  • Fight For Your Right to Carpet

    Fight For Your Right to Carpet

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    Team Palsy
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    Fight For Your Right to Carpet I am one of those people who has always dreamt of waltzing down the red carpet at an awards show. My first red carpet memory was Cher in her Bob Mackey gown at the 1988 Academy Awards. I decided at that moment that some day, that would be me.…

  • Wedding Waste

    Wedding Waste

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    Team Palsy
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    Weddings are the worst and even worse, they are a waste. I have been a bridesmaid 17 times and a bride myself. What I learned is that no one is ever happy at a wedding, except for those swindling the future Mr. and Mrs. out of their joint life savings. Let’s go through all the…

  • Flashback: Visit Palestine 2006

    Flashback: Visit Palestine 2006

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    by

    Team Palsy
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    Before I ever went to Palestine, I knew Palestine. It was all my dad ever talked about.

  • If You Can’t Fast, Give

    If You Can’t Fast, Give

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    by

    Team Palsy
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    I was born and raised in the United States. I spent my school days in beautiful New Jersey and my summers in the war zone known as the West Bank. The first Ramadan I ever fasted was no joke. I was 8 years old and on summer vacation in my parent’s village. It was late…

  • Nine Lives: 2 Down Croaking in Cairo

    Nine Lives: 2 Down Croaking in Cairo

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    by

    Team Palsy
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    In 2009 while on tour with Arabs Gone Wild, I booked my first Egypt show. I had grown up watching National Geographic specials about King Tut and the curse of the pyramids so I was super excited. I couldn’t wait to finally see the Sphinx up close and in person. I arrived in Cairo and was…

  • Nine Lives: 1 Down at the Daytime Emmys

    Nine Lives: 1 Down at the Daytime Emmys

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    Team Palsy
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    I have been addicted to soap operas since I was five years old. Yes, five. Although my parents were super strict and conservative, they missed the boat on monitoring our television consumption. As a tot I spent a summer wondering “Who shot JR?” I memorized Andrew Dice Clay’s entire nursery rhyme routine at age ten…

  • Lightbulbs and Losers

    Lightbulbs and Losers

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    by

    Team Palsy
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    I have been a bridesmaid 17 times. After spending $28,000 on my friends weddings, I decided it was time to make my money back. Gollum was one of those guys who’s just always around until you’re like best friends. After years of working together in the Palestinian refugee camps, Gollum decided to take our friendship…

  • Somewhere Over the Separation Barrier

    Somewhere Over the Separation Barrier

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    Team Palsy
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    Article originally written for The Daily Beast, published on December 18th, 2013. I tweet too much. When tweeps follow me, I immediately warn them that I am super annoying and won’t take it personally if they unfollow me for flooding their feed. My addiction to expressing myself in 140 characters finally paid off when a…