MAYSOON
"I think my cat is plotting my murder, to which I clink my fork on her bowl and say, 'Dinner dinner!'"
What's Going On?
1
A conversation about the future of a collective Palestinian identity.
2
Watch our discussion following the screening of this amazing documentary.
3
My brand new show! The audience picks the jokes, I make them funny!
DisCo Dialing
Dreading making that phone call or sending that voice text? Then don’t! Pay me to do it for you. I can break hearts, air grievances, be a hype-woman, or sing happy birthday in multiple languages.
Heatbreaker
Breaking up is hard to do. Solution? Let me do it for you.
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+ $5 and I'll add in a little pep talk
Fix Yourself
I’ll let that special someone know every single one of your problems with them.-
1 problem included, + $5 for additional grievances
Happy Birthday
Nothing more tedious than singing someone Happy Birthday, let me croon it for you.-
$25 for English // $50 for Arabic
Yes You Cancan
Need a pep talk? A shaky cheerleader? I’ve gotchu. You can do it! Yes you CANCAN.-
You can do anything I set your mind to
Note: I am not responsible for any repercussions. It is all on you. And of course I reserve the right to reject any request.
I plan to deliver messages one week after you pay me. Need it sooner?
Laugh at Me
- Date
- Title
- All
- TED Talks
- Advice You Don't Want to Hear
- Comedy
- Interviews
- Beauty & Fashion
- My Favorite Clips
- Talk Shows
Advice You Don't Want to Hear...
So you need some advice? Think you’re ready to hear the truth? Ask below, and I will answer the best entries with a video response.
New Book Alert!
Shiny Misfits
A graphic novel by yours truly.
A hilarious story about fame and friendship, by comedian and disability activist Maysoon Zayid, paired with Shadia Amin’s absolutely perfect art!
When Bay Ann wobbles at the end of her Halloween tap dance performance, the moment goes viral! Not because of her amazing tap routine (she crushed it), but because it’s an “inspirational” moment when Alyee Maq, her crush and classmate, catches her. The world sees Bay Ann’s cerebral palsy—not her talent. (For the record, she was swooning a little bit from the strength of her crush, not falling because of her palsy!)
Bay Ann doesn’t want her classmate to get all the fame, and she is NOT satisfied being anything but the best. She’s determined to find the thing that will make her famous in her own right, and enlists her two best friends, Michelle and Davey, to assist her in her quest for glory. Can she find the thing that really makes her special? Maybe it’ll be a kids baking show? A school science experiment? A class debate?
But everything she tries goes off the rails, until ultimately, she thinks she sees her chance to shine—by ditching her two best friends at the end of year talent show, and pairing with nemesis/crush Alyee Maq!
Will Bay Ann pick fame and glory over friendship? Or will she learn that maybe working together is what she needed to do all along…
I Write Stuff
Weddings are the worst and even worse, they are a waste.
Let’s go through all the different categories of misery you’ll find at a wedding.
The true story of how a Muslim Jersey girl with cerebral palsy creates her own path to stardom
Voices of Disability celebrates the real stories — not the stigmas or stereotypes — of this dynamic and vibrant community of individuals.
The true story of how a Muslim Jersey girl with cerebral palsy creates her own path to stardom
Weddings are the worst and even worse, they are a waste.
Let’s go through all the different categories of misery you’ll find at a wedding.
Voices of Disability celebrates the real stories — not the stigmas or stereotypes — of this dynamic and vibrant community of individuals.
Book
me.
How to
hire me
If you’d like to book me for a show, appearance, or date, please contact Bethany Dick bd@assembly-la.com
You can also reach out to my fabulous agent at Harry Walker for availability and fees.
